Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
