Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
