Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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