I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
