I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
why does every cop we meet know your name?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
