New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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