He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize
