sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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