Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
