yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
