She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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