all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
