I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
