Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
