names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
