If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
