Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize