there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
