At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he puts the penis in happiness.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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