The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize