I hate all girls vehemently.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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