Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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