why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
