Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
