a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
