your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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