After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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