i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
ok first of all what the fuck
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
