Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
