He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
