Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
