is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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