Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My penis needs a shock collar
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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