The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We had to coat check the pizza.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
