id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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