Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
