batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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