Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
