No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
