As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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