i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
