Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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