WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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