I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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