And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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