Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The power of my boobs compel you
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
