your room smells of hookers.
And success
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
