Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
