i don't like sucking hair
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
