scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
