Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
