Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
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