Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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