it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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