She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
