Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
