i think i have herpe
just one?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I understand Curling. That high.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Randomize