you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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