I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
