He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
