My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
