its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
