A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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